Comparison and Contentedness

One of the worst habits I deal with on a day to day basis is comparing myself to those around me. Are they skinnier than me? Prettier? Smarter? More successful? More spiritual? In a happy relationship? If there’s a way in which I can discover a new failing within myself, I’ll latch onto it. It’s been going on for years, but it was only the other day, after finding myself crying in bed following a conversation in which my friend told me about her happy new relationship that I began to realise the extent of the impact it was having on my life.

My own life is not terrible, by any stretch of the imagination, and that’s something those around me frequently bring to my attention. “But Georgie,” they say, “you have an amazing job/you’re doing really well at uni/you have these awesome friends/your family are so supportive/you just won a trip to Paris/etc./etc.”. It’s at this point that I bring out one of the most used phrases in my vocabulary – “yeah, but…”. Instead of accepting the positivity they’re offering me, rather than seeing my life as it appears to outsiders, I’ll whip out my half-empty glass and go on to complain about everything wrong with my life. All I can think is “well, if they have it, why can’t I? I’d finally be happy if I had that”. Instead of counting my blessings, I’ve become obsessed with my perceived burdens. I’m single. My anxiety makes it hard for me to participate. My job can be stressful. I could be doing so much more than I currently am, I should be doing so much more.

Somewhere along the line, I missed the lesson on being content with what I have, with what God has given me. I managed to become obsessed with what I could have, rather than being thankful for the blessings right in front of me.

A few months ago, my mum decided to do one of those gratefulness challenges on Facebook. At the time, I laughed at her, but I’ve come to realise that I should be adopting one myself. Living moment by moment, day by day, and focusing on all the things I’ve been given rather than all the things I’m missing out on is the first step to potential happiness.

God has these amazing plans for our lives, plans that He mapped out for us before we were even born, and they are so much better than we could ever dream of. But we need to trust in Him and His timing, or we risk sabotaging everything He is working towards in our lives. If I spend too long stuck in my room crying about what I don’t have, I might miss out on what I could have, on what God wants me to have. Remembering we’re all on our own journeys, and at different stages of said journeys, is something I really need to work on. Life is not a race, as much as I feel like it is at times. Nobody wins for getting married first, or for having the best career at the youngest age. That’s just not the point of life, and I need to stop believing that it is.

Overcoming my comparison problem and finding a content heart is not something that is going to happen overnight, but I do believe that it is something which I can conquer (with a lot of work, and help from God).

So, today I am grateful that I am currently spending a week at home recharging my batteries, and that my plans for tonight involve eating one of my favourite meals, and marathoning Psych season six with my parents. Sometimes it truly is the smallest things that can make our souls the most joyful.

georgie x

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On Turning Twenty, and Seven Years of Frangipani Princess

I turned twenty last week. I’m no longer a teenager, which is kind of a weird circle because when I first started this blog, I wasn’t a teenager either. It hasn’t felt like seven years, but here we are. My entire teen life is catalogued within the pages of Frangipani Princess (crazy, I know). This blog has been pretty silent for the last few months, and I guess in a way it would be fitting to stop writing here, close the blog down. Leave it as it stands, a chronicle of my life as a teenage wannabe journalist.

But even though my dreams and priorities have shifted (although my love of the Jonas Brothers and fast food remains), I can’t quite bring myself to say goodbye. I’m working in PR at the moment, and don’t think I’ll ever regain the burning passion I once had to work in magazines/be a journalist, but there’s something nice about having an outlet for the words that sometimes just need to come out.

Blogging has been so much fun. It has introduced me to some amazing people, given me some once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, and been a place in which I could develop my writing skills. I’ve gained internships and mentors and been able to turn my twelve-year old dreams into somewhat of a reality. It’s been crazy and fun and absolutely everything I could ever have hoped or dreamed for.

The thing about growing up, however, is that you realise your dreams might not be what you actually want, or need, in the bigger scheme of life. God gave me a pretty clear indication of that in the last few months, when after my internship at DOLLY finished, He pushed me in the direction of PR (which I had never seriously thought about) and and straight into my dream job (hello, fandom publicity). I loved interning in magazines, but looking back, it probably wasn’t truly for me (or was it? Maybe I’ll decide that they are my dream destination again. Who knows).

Life is all about changes and discovering who you are. My life is an eternal work in progress, and lately I’ve been more confused than ever about the direction in which I’m headed. At the end of the day though, there’s nothing you can do but sit back, enjoy the ride, and see where God takes you. So I’m not completely giving up on Frangipani Princess and blogging, but I’m also not coming back to daily (or even weekly) posting. I’ll write when inspiration strikes, and spend the rest of my time wondering about the future and spamming twitter with my thoughts on High School Musical, Hannibal, and Draco Malfoy.

Thank you for a wonderful seven years, dear readers. You gave my teen years a purpose and a focus (which was more important than you will ever understand). And if you’re reading this as one of the wonderful souls who took a chance on a young girl, through work experience, internships, or media coverage, I appreciate you more than I can put into words. I wouldn’t be where I am without you, so my sincerest thanks from the bottom of my heart.

I’ve grown up through these pages and posts, and you’ve been there to share a lot of that journey with me. Seven years. That was more than half of my life when I started this blog, and never in my wildest dreams did I ever think my twenty year old self would still be churning out words onto the homepage. It’s been brilliant, and I hope you’ll still occasionally drop by to see what the future brings.

Much love,

Georgie (frangipani princess) xoxo

 

What They Don’t Tell You About Travelling

Angkor Wat, 2013You’ve seen the kind – the thrill seeking, adventure-loving, continually travelling folk who seem to thrive on sleepless nights and exotic street food. Tales of broken down Tuk Tuks and wandering abandoned temples are plentiful and you can’t help but envy their lives so very different from yours. Nevertheless, it seems all wonderful to be travelling the globe, meeting colourful characters and soaking up the sights, but here’s what they don’t tell you about the whole ordeal.

Sometimes, it just sucks. Not the travelling part, but the returning home to find that everything you once loved seems trivial and meaningless. The mission trip I went on to Cambodia earlier this year (read: most incredible and life changing experience I’ve ever had) was the best thing I ever did. Spending 5 days building a brick home for a family battling HIV/AIDS, and two wide-eyed weeks inhaling the culture isn’t something you just do and forget about, instead it never really leaves you and follows you around as you go through the unimportant and meaningless motions of life. It’s so hard to think about entering year 12 when your heart is still overseas and your mind still tuned into “don’t drink the water, you might get cholera.” It’s hard waking up on a Monday and trying to get ready for a day of lessons when you can practically hear the welcomes of “Hello lady! Are you from Australia?” that once echoed around as you walked the streets. Australian roads are so lacking in atmosphere, a heavy silence having replaced joyful honks and criss-crossing traffic, not to mention our lame excuses for a ‘market.’

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#MyFirst…Kiss (Or Being Almost 20 And Still Waiting For One)

Each week Kerri Sackville is running a series titled “My First”. This week the theme is My First Kiss. I decided to add my thoughts. 

My name is Georgie, I am nineteen years, nine months old, and I have never been kissed.

I know. In a world of Tinder, Cosmo, and casual hookups, I’m still sitting at the kiddie table.

I’m not sure how it got to this point. I never intended for it to. In my young imagination I was going to have the Real High School Experience, complete with huge parties and lots of making out. But I suppose along the way I was ‘blessed’ with social anxiety and Saturday nights spent partying turned into Saturday nights spent in bed, fearing the outside world. It’s a bit hard to be kissed when you’re too scared to talk to anyone of the opposite sex.

Meggie Royer, in her wonderful piece “For Twenty Year Olds Who Have Never Been Loved”, writes:

All of a sudden two decades have passed and you still have not kissed anyone with tongue, or kissed anyone at all for that matter, or had a 3 AM conversation with someone who would rather look into your eyes for ten minutes straight than talk.

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I’m Back

After taking a couple of weeks to clear my brain and focus on my exams, it’s time to return to blogging.

So what happened while I was away?

  • I got an internship writing news for Mugglenet, which makes my fandom writing dreams come true
  • One Direction released a new single that made me cry (so just another day in my fangirl life)
  • I saw One Direction in concert…twice, and it was as perfect as you’d expect it to be
  • Supernatural Season Nine kicked off, and has made me cry in four out of five episodes
  • I got hooked on American Horror Story: Coven
  • And became totally obsessed with Bad Education (The fact there’s only twelve episodes is a travesty)
  • McFly and Busted have joined forces for a super McBusted 2014 UK Tour and once again I’m left crying in the corner because nothing cool ever happens in Australia
  • A stupid band that nobody cares about broke up and it definitely didn’t break my heart into a thousand shattered pieces that will never be put back together because you’re brothers and you can’t just break up like that. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!!!!! People change and promises are broken, but this is the bottom line it’s true, I gave my all for you now my heart’s in two and I can’t find the other half. It’s like I’m walking on broken glass, better believe I bled. I’m never going to get over this, so you can probably expect a lot more posts about this horrible betrayal by my favourite band.
  • It was announced that the staff of two of my favourite magazines, DOLLY and Cleo, are being merged which on one hand is exciting but on the other hand is a depressing look at the lack of jobs that will exist in the media industry by the time I graduate

I finish Uni for the year on Friday, so stay tuned for reviews, interviews, and more of my usual rambling attempts at being a serious blogger.

frangipani princess xoxo

Hiatus

Have you ever noticed how life has a terrible habit of getting in the way of everything? We set out to do things with the best intentions, to follow our dreams, and then suddenly all of this time has passed and all you feel like you’ve achieved is walking a kilometre in the wrong direction.

I need to take a break from Frangipani Princess. I need to take a break from trying to follow a dream that maybe just isn’t my dream any more.

The more I experience the industry first hand, the more I become disheartened by it. And maybe I’m just exhausted by the end of semester and consumed by studying for my exams, but I need to take a step back for a while.

This isn’t goodbye forever, but it’s let me take a break to breathe and think about the future.

frangipani princess xoxo

Tuesday Link Round-Up

Here’s what I’ve been reading/watching/obsessing over in the past 24hrs.

frangipani princess xoxo

Life: When the future turns into the present

By Monica Welsh

When I was about 8 we went to an AFL game as a family and they were running this competition before the game. All you had to do was handball a footy into a box from a couple of metres back and then you would get to keep the footy. My brother (who was 5) and I lined up in the hopes of possessing the skills that would score us a free football and bragging rights for the next week or so. When it was my turn, I picked up that footy and handballed it with all my heart and soul. It fell straight from my hand and flopped onto the ground, bouncing around erratically. I spun around and ran back to my parents (who were laughing, along with what felt like the rest of the world), my cheeks burning with embarrassment. Moments later I heard the calls of ‘Hey, little girl, come back!’ The football had bounced about eight times, back and forth from where I dropped it at my feet, only to bounce right into that box.

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Listen: English Rulers Song/Royal Baby Names

With the wait for the Royal Baby seemingly never ending (although twitter is rumouring that Kate is now inside the hospital), the world has had more than enough time to discuss (and discuss, and discuss) baby names. This has done two things:

1. Convince me that the baby needs to be named Arthur so we can finally have a King Arthur

2. Made sure the English Rulers song from Horrible Histories is permanently stuck in my head

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