Life: When the future turns into the present

By Monica Welsh

When I was about 8 we went to an AFL game as a family and they were running this competition before the game. All you had to do was handball a footy into a box from a couple of metres back and then you would get to keep the footy. My brother (who was 5) and I lined up in the hopes of possessing the skills that would score us a free football and bragging rights for the next week or so. When it was my turn, I picked up that footy and handballed it with all my heart and soul. It fell straight from my hand and flopped onto the ground, bouncing around erratically. I spun around and ran back to my parents (who were laughing, along with what felt like the rest of the world), my cheeks burning with embarrassment. Moments later I heard the calls of ‘Hey, little girl, come back!’ The football had bounced about eight times, back and forth from where I dropped it at my feet, only to bounce right into that box.

As I get older and I start to feel as though my future is no longer the future but rather the present, things aren’t turning out the way I had planned. The prospect of going to university – one which I had always entertained – suddenly seems terrifying. The whole ATAR situation scares me to death and whilst I still have every intention of studying at Uni, I find it impossible to imagine going through the steps beforehand to get there in the first place.

Friendships aren’t as I had always imagined, nor are my subjects, interests or talents. The surprise element to my life and the way in which it is not at all like I had imagined it to be can be nice at times, but there is a huge part of me that just wishes I could see my life all planned out so that I could rest assured it will all be okay.

I recently went on a mission trip to Cambodia (I will post about it someday!) and now yet again it seems as though my life has taken another unexpected turn. Such a life changing trip has pushed so many new questions and ideas into my life – who knows where I will end up.

When things don’t go to plan, it seems like nothing will ever be successful and work out in the end. The football of my life is just bouncing around chaotically and it will never make it to the box.

But that is where I am wrong, because it will get there, eventually. When I think about it, it is all those unexpected bumps that I couldn’t possibly have imagined could happen in my life that I look back on and appreciate and learn to love. If my life was like a smooth sailing football, imagine how much I would miss out on…

My brother and I both won a footy that day. Though mine bounced haphazardly until it found its way into the box, my brother’s sailed smoothly and perfectly yet the result was still the same. I think we all need to remind ourselves that the ball will get in the box in the end, there’s just no guarantee as to how it will reach its destination.

Monica @ frangipani princess

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