An Epiphany

My trials started today, and in the middle of my geography exam (of course my worst subject would be my second test on the first day) I had an epiphany. As I sat there, blindly guessing multiple choice answers (I definitely do not take my advice from a Jonas Brothers interview in which Joe answers “B” to everything), I realised that, wow, the HSC really isn’t as scary as I had always imagined it to be. Like, okay, I have to do seven two and three hour exams, but really, that’s it. Sitting in a hall, writing some information, doing your best. It’s really not the end of the world. 

At the start of last year, as I was beginning my senior years at high school, I wrote a post titled “There Is A Monster At The End Of This Book”. The post outlines how in year eleven and twelve we’re much like Grover (if you haven’t read it, find a copy. It’s my favourite thing ever), believing there’s a monster at the end of the book and not wanting to turn the pages but having them turn anyway. In the post, I wrote that when I finished the HSC I would discover that the ‘monster’ was all in my head, but I’ve surprised myself and realised it today. 
The past eighteen months I have been a total stress-head. And I mean total stress-head. My eyebrow even turned white. But as the year has progressed, I’ve received marks that have been high enough to keep my dream course in my sights (which isn’t exactly a stretch as I just want to do Arts), and now, completing trials, I’m finally realising that this is doable. I can, and will, make it through this. In three months from now, three measly months, I will be sitting here, a free agent. In less than three months, I will have sat my final HSC exam, and it will all be over. And I can do it. 

On a more sombre note, a girl at my dad’s school attempted suicide on Friday night over the stress of the HSC, and I think that it was a catalyst for my changing thoughts of the exams. I’ve realised that you can look at the HSC in two ways – one, you get so stressed you end up on anti-depressants (me), or attempt suicide (not me but still), or two, you treat it like just another test, do your best, and get through. The HSC only beats us if we let it, and so it’s up to us to remind each other that we can survive, we can get through this, we are the class of 2012 (or 2013, or whenever you’re going to graduate), and we are as amazing as we believe ourselves to be. 

frangipani princess xoxo

One thought on “An Epiphany

  1. It's so good to read about you acing your HSC right before my two senior years (or what we call in Germany 'Oberstufe') start.It's taking a lot of pressure from me and I really think I can do this.Thank you so much. ❤

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