Every week at my church there is an opportunity to walk up the front and be prayed for during Worship. I’ve contemplated going up before, but am usually too concerned with what people will think, and full of anxiety. But today, after an inspiring message from both the Pastor (our sermon was on being audacious [adj showing a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks ] which I am definitely not), and a Worship Team Member who looked at us and said “What are you getting from staying in your seats?” I thought I should probably change that fact. I had a bit of an internal conflict throughout the first worship song that went something like:
He’s right! What am I getting from standing here?
COMFORT! You’re getting the comfort of not going up the front!
But am I really?
YES! This is why we’ve stayed here every other week.
Those people up the front look happy
Yeah, but still. It’s easier to stay here.
How about if there’s another worship song, we go up.
There was a second worship song. It took a little while, but finally, I counted to three, and walked up the front. I think my friend Britt could tell I was having a bit of a conflict over what I should do, because I soon felt her hand on my shoulder, saying she’d stand with me. Thank goodness for lovely friends.
Soon after that, a young member of the Worship Team came and asked me if I needed a prayer. I said yes, and she asked what for. I was momentarily stumped because I was not at all prepared for that question, and didn’t exactly spill all the reasons I need prayer straight up. I had to take it slow. I think I muttered something about being in year twelve and stressed, and not coping overly well. And then she put her hands on me, and she prayed.
For those of you who don’t believe in God, feel free to be skeptical, but as soon as she started praying, my body just filled with a lightness. I could feel God there, it was like He was hugging me saying, “hey, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m here. You are so loved. Just remember that”. As soon as the prayer finished I started shaking, and the light feeling stayed with me, and in that moment I just knew. I knew that no matter how much I may hurt this year, or ever, God is there, and He is Love.
In the past week, I have been stressed and overwhelmed and just extremely frazzled. But in that moment of worship, God filled me with His Spirit to remind me that I don’t have to do it all alone. I am never alone. And I can do everything through He who gives me strength.
If I had to pick just one favourite bible verse, I think I would have to say it would be Deuteronomy 31:8, and I feel that the verse goes perfectly with what God was reminding me about today.