Last Week Of Childhood

This is my last week of childhood. On Sunday, I turn eighteen. I have spent five years of high-school debates arguing that nothing changes the day you turn eighteen (and therefore drinking ages/voting ages/etc/etc have the right to be changed) and yet as my own eighteenth looms, I can’t help but feel like it’s the end of an era. I know that technically I will wake up Sunday morning and not feel particularly different, but in the eyes of the law, everything changes. 
I don’t know if I’m ready for that change. 
I still feel like a twelve year old, with my boy-band obsessions and love of Disney (etc. etc.), but somehow the world has decided I have to be an adult. What a scary thought. 
Sarah Tarca told me the other day that growing up is fiction, and while I’d like to believe that, I’m scared over the fact that I’m now almost old enough to do everything that has been “adults only” for my entire life. As a little girl, eighteen year olds always seem so old, so mature, and now here I am, six days off the milestone, and I don’t feel any different than I did six days before any of my other birthdays. It’s bad enough that they expect me to be a year twelve student (where did my schooling go?!), but now they expect me to be a responsible adult as well?! Who do they think I am?!
All of my friends are so excited to turn eighteen and for all the responsibility and opportunity that comes with it, and then there’s me. Cowering in a corner as the days fly by wondering where my life has gone. I suppose it’s less exciting for me as I’m not a big drinker/partier and so the thought of buying alcohol isn’t a super big treat for me. I was with my parents at a bottle shop the other day and as we walked around my mum joked that soon I’d be able to buy it all myself, but not to buy it all at once. There’s a part of me that believed in that moment, and still vaguely believes now, that no-one in their right mind would sell me alcohol because I’m obviously still so young. But I guess not. My licence tells the world that I will turn eighteen on the eighteenth, and while I guess I can hide in a corner forever, one day my age is going to have to catch up with me.

If only I was Peter Pan.

frangipani princess xoxo

2 thoughts on “Last Week Of Childhood

  1. I turned 18 last Saturday! I was not at all keen to become a 'legal adult' (I don't drink and am in no hurry to 'experience' a nightclub) but I really feel no different. And by that, I mean I still feel about 14. Happy birthday!x

  2. I think it's perfectly normal to feel like that. I'm nearly 19 but sometimes I still feel like I'm just a little girl. It's a bit like that Taylor Swift song, 'Never Grow Up' where she sings "I wish I'd never grown up". Having said that, however, the grown-up world is an exciting place even if it is scary at times.Happy Birthday!

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