What I’ve Been Occupying Myself With

Seeing as you’ve all been so patient with me while I neglect the blog for schoolwork, I thought I’d share with you some of the work I’ve been doing. Under the jump will be a short story I wrote for our “Belonging” Portfolio, and received full marks for. It’s titled Supernova, and well, have a read and tell me what you think!

frangipani princess xoxo

I lie in the darkness, listening to the silence, as breathing becomes harder. Wave upon wave washes over me as the weight of the expectations of the world crashes onto my head. I’m drowning. Drowning in their opinions. Drowning in who they want me to be. Drowning under the pressure of trying to fit in, trying to belong. I struggle against the weight but it is futile. I am being slowly smothered and all I can do is wait while I feel my life force being sucked from me. This was not how it was supposed to end.
I can feel their eyes, their views, their expectations. They bore into me, as powerful as any drill, mining the precious pieces of me for their own benefit. They take and take, and I am left a shell of what I was before. Soon there will be nothing left; I will be a useless mound of dirt for them to cover up and ignore.
There was a time when praise was showered upon me day after day, building me up to dazzling heights. I was the golden child, until I wasn’t. I was loved only until someone better came along. The praise was torn out from underneath my feet, leaving me winded on the ground, tears blinding me to the truth of the situation. I was no longer the best, and so they expected me to work harder. I had to be better, smarter, prettier, more talented, and if I couldn’t, the world would spin on without me, revolving around the new brightest star.
It’s a long fall from the top, and I discover all the bottom contains is pain. They do not like fallen stars. Their whispers deafen me in the corridors. Their looks are daggers slicing me to shreds. The brightness I once lit up the world with flickers and dims. They expect me to be fabulous; I lose the ability to shine. They snicker as they turn their backs and walk away. I am left with the harsh realization that I am no longer special; I am alone and worthless.
Once upon a time I was envied by many. I believed that society’s shallowness was my own popularity. I shone bigger and brighter than anyone who had come before me, but I was a supernova, and soon it was all gone. I have long since grown used to the darkness. The darkness has become my only friend.
It is getting lighter now. I can feel the waves lessening in their strength as they attack me. The tide is changing. It must be almost dawn. Dawn. A time for hope. A time for new beginnings. I take a final breath, as the silence reaches a crescendo, and am finally free. 

2 thoughts on “What I’ve Been Occupying Myself With

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s