Fourteen

When I was fourteen, I was hardcore in love with The Jonas Brothers. I had over 200 posters of them on my wall, they were all I listened to, I was a member of every online forum and group possible about them…they were practically all I talked about. These were the days before Justin Bieber was a thing, but you could think of me as on-par with the most intense Beliebers of today (okay, I exaggerate, I would never have like, sent death threats to their girlfriends or anything, although I did hate their exes on principal for them). My fourteen (and originally thirteen, then fifteen, and sixteen) year old heart broke continuously as The Jonas Brothers continued to ignore us in world tours. I remember sobbing hysterically in my bedroom in early 2009 because Joe Jonas came to Sydney on a personal trip and mum wouldn’t let me go stalk him, and I realised that it would likely be the only time a Jonas would hit up Australia. Eventually as 2009 continued, Bieber developed a fan base and Kevin got married and Nick released plans for a solo album, and before we knew it, it was 2010 and JB weren’t really a thing any more. 

I still love them with all my heart, but I’ve been forced to move on with my obsessions, as it’s a bit hard to intensely love a group who don’t really do much. As most of you would know, my newest JB-filler is One Direction. I love everything about the largely teen British boy band, but as they grow in popularity, especially here in Australia, I can’t help but notice my age. My twitter feed is filled with retweets from Sony, radio stations, magazines, and 1D themselves of girls with names like “mrsharrystyles” or “1Dloverforever” and I just sit back and think…where did my dedication go? When I was fifteen, I was named one of the 25 biggest Jonas fans in Australia, I would have done anything for those boys, and yet, over time, you have to grow up and realise you can’t be a fangirl forever. Well, you can, but not to the same level. 

Last night a rumour started on twitter that 1D would be heading Down Under in March, and all the hardcore Directioners started trending topics and tweeting 1D, and it made me so sad. It was acceptable for these girls to be doing that, these fourteen year olds with nothing to worry about except which celebrity they’ll spam on that particular day. As much as I would love to be them, love to be in the wave of young-teens in this 1D craze who can devote everything they have to tweets and campaigns and fansites, my real life has to get in the way.  

I think there comes a day in every fangirl’s life where they wake up and realise they’re not fourteen anymore, and they have to act differently. I am closer to my eighteenth birthday than I am to my seventeenth, and I don’t even want to think about the fact that it’s almost been four years since I was fourteen. My days are now spent with piles of homework, major work researching, and HSC preparation. I barely have time to breathe, let alone find the time to dedicate myself to fangirling. It’s also a bit weirder if you’re almost eighteen and have a twitter name like “marryme1D” than if you do the same thing at fourteen. It makes me sad, because it’s only the hardcore fans that ever really get noticed, and even though I don’t have time to be their number one Australian fansite, I still love them an awful lot and would love nothing more than to be noticed, and to be able to meet them. 

I think I’m saddest because I never got the chance to be the insane fan at a Jonas concert. My best fangirl years were spent on a band that never left the other side of the world, and I suppose a bit of jealousy comes into play for the fangirls of today. Bieber came to Australia. 1D are supposedly coming to Australia. Every group seems to be more popular here than my beloved JB ever were, and I just wish I had a chance to do it all again. Not that I would change anything about my JB years, but I just wish I could be fourteen again right now, just for a while, so I could have one last go at being an intensely addicted fan before I hit adulthood and my obsessions become even less socially acceptable than they are now. 
If you’re fourteen and reading this, or even if you’re twelve, thirteen, or fifteen, make the most of it while you can. Obsess over everything. Have fun. Be the biggest fan you can be, cos one day you’ll wake up in year twelve and realise just how much is devastatingly now behind you. 
frangipani princess xoxo

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2 thoughts on “Fourteen

  1. This makes me think of Neils and her Take That obsession. Also, I spent my night looking thorugh my 1500+ JB photos/secrets, listening to my Disney playlist and reeading Miles To Go. It's just laziness that's preventing me from getting out the hundreds of posters I still have in the bottom of my desk drawer.Just yesterday I was talking in chem about year nine science when everyone hated us and JB obsession. The lesson with Tokkie where we moved three times coz we were pissing everyone off? Yeah, we poned.

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