It All Ends: Part One

Harry Potter has been the one constant in my life. Okay. There have been a few other constants, but the point is that I cannot remember a time in my life when there was no Harry Potter. There hasn’t been a time that Hogwarts was not a part of my vocabulary, where I didn’t want to be Hermione, when I didn’t know all the rules of Quidditch. My mum read Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone to my brother when it was very first released in Australia; I would have been four or five. I haven’t stopped loving it and obsessing over it. They say you’re too into something when you start dreaming about it. The first nightmare I can remember having, and the one that stays with me most vividly to this day, was one that I had when I was five and I was being chased through the Hogwarts’ Dungeons by Voldemort. Obviously I was always going to be a Potterhead. 


I remember crying over the fact that my brother would turn eleven before me, crying because Emma Watson got cast as Hermione and I didn’t, crying because I would never be British and therefore would never be a part of the cast. Five of the books were released prior to my eleventh birthday, with the build up to the sixth being around the same time as said birthday, and even though I was particularly bright for my age, there was still a part of me convinced that I would be getting an owl inviting me to leave the dull world of fifth grade Australian education and go and experience Hogwarts. (Side Note: The characters always seemed so old, but now, and some could say fittingly, I’m the same age as Harry in this final movie. As I said yesterday, I’m not ready to feel so old. Harry was saving the wizarding world at seventeen, I’m still trying to survive high school. I could as much battle an evil wizard as fly. But I digress.) Harry Potter has been my entire life. My entire childhood (side note, it annoys me that everyone is saying that on facebook when half of them haven’t even read the books, but we’ll save that rant for another day). My everything. 


Tonight, it all ends. 


I have tickets for the midnight screening – due to age and/or being overseas, my first ever midnight screening – and am already heartbroken. All week (and longer, if I’m totally honest), I’ve been dreading tonight. Dreading going to the movie. Dreading logging online and seeing stuff about the movie. I’ve avoided everything from the premiere. Avoided people talking about the movie full stop. I’ve even avoided looking at promotional posters. I can’t cope with the fact that by this time tomorrow, I will never see any more Harry Potter movies. 


Some people – my father included – have told me to stop being so stupid, especially since I’ve read the book more than five times (it’s my least favourite and haven’t read it as often as the others) and know exactly what’s going to happen. That is true, I know who will die, I know who will win, I know who will live ‘happily ever after’ (inverted commas cos the epilogue sucks) nineteen years later. I’ve read it all. I know the story. What I don’t know is how it will be played out on the big screen. What they’ll change. What they’ll add. How they’ll interpret it. It will also be so much more intense actually seeing all the deaths, the battles, the everything. It’s one thing to read about your favourite characters (potentially) dying, it’s a whole other to actually see it. To hear the soundtrack. To listen to it all. I’m going to be a wreck. From the very moment the lights dim and the title appears all I’ll be able to think is “there’ll never be another new Harry Potter title” while tears run down my cheeks, and it will be downhill from there, until the final credits roll and I’ll be stuck to my chair, sobbing, because it’s freaking over.


You guys, I don’t want it to be over. 


As Oliver Boyd sings in End Of An Era, “And I know it’s only a story but for so many it’s more than that. It’s a world all of it’s own where we want to put on that sorting hat. And I will miss the train ride in, and the pranks pulled by the twins, though it’s nowhere I have been, I’ll keep on smiling from the times I’ve had with them.” 


He also sings, “Don’t you ever wonder what will happen when it ends? How will we let go of the ones that we call friends?” and to that, Mr. Boyd, all I can say is I honestly don’t know, or want to know, and I really wish I didn’t have to find out in a mere matter of hours.  


frangipani princess xoxo
ps. It All Ends: Part Two will be posted tomorrow after I’ve seen the movie. Further reflections etcetera. Any spoilers after a jump, of course. 

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4 thoughts on “It All Ends: Part One

  1. Harry Potter is the life we all never had. I see the movie on Saturday, I don't know if I can wait that long, but I suppose I'm going to have to. This post is good. I don't know if it's the Harry Potter related emotions but it made me sad and really un-eager to go see the film because quite frankly, I don't want it to end. >I'll always cherish those memories of me lying on my bed laughing at something Ron had just said and wanting to tell someone, but then realising no one else would get it.

  2. This post makes me so sad :(I've grown up with it too, relating to Harry being stuck at the Dursleys, to Hermione being bagged out to Harry having a teacher "hate" him and all! (Too bad I'm almost seventeen and can't relate to the romance stuff so much :P)

  3. im kinda sad ive never actually seen harry potter before 😦 but if thats ending u should look into maximum ride books they are soooo friggin good!!!! no joke oh im issy by the way i guess i should of said that first lol but ya i would really appriciate it if u could look on my blogger majig soo ya sorry about ur loss (harry potter lol)

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