What Three Year Old Beauty Pageant Contestants And I Have In Common

I’ve recently become obsessed with watching Toddlers and Tiaras on lifestyleYOU (favourite channel much?!), and every time I watched I would become annoyed at the amount of times the contestants cried. If they stuffed up a routine and burst into tears backstage, all I wanted to do was knock some sense into them. It’s a freaking competition, I felt like saying, who cares if you lose, it’s not the end of the world! 
Then today I found myself sitting in the front row of the auditorium at the Newtown Perforing Arts High School with an unstoppable flow of tears running down my cheeks, after presenting what is likely to be the worst impromptu speech in the history of impromptu speeches (ok, I lie, I’ve seen worse, but still, it was unbelievably bad). And suddenly, I got it. I got why those girls cried so hard after screwing up the talent comp or after making a tiny mistake that then ruled them out of a placing. I got why their tears flowed so freely. I just got it. They cry because they know how embarrassing what they’ve just done is. They cry because they know that when you work so hard for something, and then have it fall apart around you, it’s the worst feeling in the world. They also know that when you then have to sit back and watch everyone else do it perfectly, well, that’s even worse. The tears are a mixture of frustration, humiliation and disappointment. You didn’t do what you knew you were capable of, and that hurts.
I seriously couldn’t stop crying, like I’m talking forty minutes of tears, which, ten hours later, has left me with eyes that are still puffy and red. Of course, random people tried to be nice to me by saying things like:
“Oh, don’t worry, we were all just as bad”
“Cheer up, at least you’ll never see any of these people again”
“You’re two years younger than us, you haven’t learnt all the things we have, it’s ok”
“Don’t worry honey, you were positively amazing compared to some impromtu’s I’ve seen. I’ve seen girls not even hit the thirty second mark and others start crying before they even sat down”
But it just made it worse. I’d humiliated myself in front of all those people, and I was the only one to do it. Sigh. 
Next time I watch a beauty-queen wannabe burst into tears, instead of wanting to kill her, I’m going to want to give her a hug. It’s certainly hard enough when there’s a hundred people watching; it would be so much harder when it’s the whole world. 

frangipani princess xoxo
ps. Of course, the pain is lessened when your mother takes you to the apple store and buys you a brand new macbook pro 😀 I lovelovelove it 😀

2 thoughts on “What Three Year Old Beauty Pageant Contestants And I Have In Common

  1. Wish people bought me things to cheer me up.You are very hard on yourself, I KNOW it was not that bad. And doing an impromptu speech or anything is harder than a beauty pageant where they do their crazy "Pro Am" bobble chin faces and twirling. Or when their talent is to be wind (WTH?)So take some solace that you can't really be compared to the people on Lifestyle You! (for one thing your mum is sane, where their mums run tiaras over in a carpark because they didn't win Grand Supreme. I mean who wants their child to win something that sounds like a pizza anyways).Besides, you have the weekend with an awesome new laptop, so you're much better off than so many! Just push your sadness aside. *HUGS*

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