I was just on your website and discovered a post entitled ‘why I’m no fan of cinderella, snowwhite, sleeping beauty etc.‘ in which you ranted about hating fairy-tales because they make little girls grow up thinking they can sit and home and Prince Charming will come and save them. I have so many problems with that thought process that I can’t even begin to voice them all. But I will try.
I am currently fifteen years old. I have grown up loving all the disney princesses, and still do love them. Do you want to know why I love them (and all movies aimed at kids) so much?
BECAUSE REALITY SUCKS.
Yes, Mia, I understand that ‘Prince Charming’ will not ride in and save me. I understand that sitting at home and being uneducated will not take me far in life. I understand I need friends and hobbies. I understand that ugly does not equal bad, and pretty does not equal good. I understand that marriage does not equal happiness, and guess what? One day your daughter, and all little girls, will as well. It doesn’t mean they can’t dream. Just because my best friend’s mum often tells us to marry ‘a rich old man with a bad cough’ doesn’t mean we actually will. Fairy tales and childrens stories, to me, are merely an escape from a world, which I am fully aware is nowhere near perfect. I find comfort in the fact that I can sit at home with a broken leg and watch The Little Mermaid and have my mind be taken off the pain and into a fantasy world where love at first sight, and love that conquers all, really does exist.
Liking disney princesses and fairy tales does not mean I have been ‘brain washed’. It does not mean I am delusional, or have a warped view of the world. It means quite the opposite, actually. I understand how hard real life is. I understand that sometimes a prince never comes. I understand that many ‘princes’ turn out to be toads, and that more often than not, happily ever after doesn’t exist. I love these stories so much because while watching or reading them, just like every other fictional novel, you can be taken away to a world where everything is perfect in the end.
I am glad you are letting your daughter like princesses, because really, wouldn’t you rather her grow up with the idea that there is a prince charming waiting for her, than growing up thinking there’s no-one? Maybe her Prince Charming won’t be someone she ends up marrying. Heck, it could be a celebrity who ‘saves’ her from troubled times through music or messages.
I fully plan on going to university, getting a dream job and working hard. It’s not my dream to be a 1950’s housewife, but the idea of a true love is somewhat a beacon of light in an otherwise dreary world. It’s 2010 for goodness sake. I know women aren’t housewives anymore, but we certainly don’t all need to be feminists. Believe it or not Mia, many people do find a happily ever after, and part of that package is a Prince Charming. Teenage girls today have such a freedom of choice, and if liking the idea of a happily ever after to escape a terrible reality works for some, then let it.
On top of messages given to us by fairy tales, we’re also given messages by the modern ‘ disney princesses’, or teen stars. Guess what? A lot of them believe in waiting for a ‘prince charming’ and marriage before having sex. Is that wrong too? Should we, and in turn, your daughter, be sleeping with everyone because our prince isn’t worth waiting for? Well, in your opinon, it’s more because he’s not coming. Don’t worry though, they do also warn us about not everyone being Mr. Right, so there’s no need to start a tirade against them, as Taylor Swift says:
I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairy tale, I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet lead her up the stairwell. This ain’t hollywood, this is a small town, I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around.
Basically, Mia, girls can love Disney Princesses and still be powerful women who aren’t dependant on a man, on or off a white horse, to come and save them. And let’s face it, a world without a happily ever, fictional or not, doesn’t seem like a very nice world to me.
frangipani princess xoxo