If Rpatz and Kstew weren’t Edward and Bella, the movie adaptions of the Twilight Saga would be considerably less painful. Watching both of them for nearly two hours on the screen, at the same time nearly killed me in Twilight, so it was only with the knowledge that Edward would be absent for most of the film that I went to see New Moon with toong today. I know, Toong and I, the biggest twi-haters in the world, actually paying to see it, but we are only girls, and there is a lot of shirtless Taylor Lautner. Who could blame us?
The movie wasn’t as bad as I suspected it would be, but that doesn’t mean it was good. The only reason I even thought it was half decent was because of the Quileute’s. They were freaking hilarious. And Emmet was so funny. Best line of the entire movie (not word for word :S):
‘You’ve got an older girlfriend. HOT’ (Emmet to Edward on Bella’s birthday)
Bella was annoying. She didn’t have more than two facial expressions and for most of the movie was just in a depressed stupor. Seriously, whoever cast Kstew should be sacked. And Rpatz? Don’t get me started on him. He looked hideous the entire movie. That damn sparkling is disgusting!
The Volturi were a lot younger than I thought they would be, but they were way cool. Dakota Fanning as Jane was quite creepy, but she’s an amazing actress.
The ending of the movie was honestly the lamest thing ever.
Edward: Bella, will you marry me?
Bella: *Shocked Expression*
Toong and I just sat there shocked and said:
‘Do you think she’ll say yes?’
‘Do you think they’ll really get married?’
‘Do you think she’ll get pregnant on the honeymoon?’
‘Do you think it will be a demon baby?’
‘Do you think she’ll become a vampire?’
‘Do you think Jacob will imprint on the demon baby?’
‘Do you think they’ll all live happily ever after?’
‘I have no idea. We’ll just have to wait.’
Lame, movie makers, lame. The majority of people seeing the movie will have read the books. It’s pointless having an ending like that when everyone knows what will happen.
The movie was a 5/10, because the fact it’s Twilight counteracts the fact that Taylor Lautner spends three quarters of the movie half naked. And that’s worth the ticket price alone…
frangipani princess xoxo
ps. I saw this hilarious video earlier and just had to share. It’s Jacob singing a twi-version of ‘You Belong With Me’ about Bella. Changed lyrics and all. It’s pure genius, you just have to watch: