The next big (little) thing…

This is Justin Bieber.

Let’s all say ‘Hi Justin!’

Justin (aka ‘fetus’) is fifteen and ‘the next big thing’. Let’s play ‘describe Justin in ten words or less’:
Discovered on Youtube. Signed by Usher. Thousands of fans. Pre-pubescent.
His debut CD, My World, was released earlier this week, and the smart cookie he is came up with a promotion to sell hundreds of thousands of CDs. In Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory they have a ‘golden ticket’ promotion, and whoever finds the golden tickets in the chocolate bars gets to go on a tour of the factory. Justin has hidden golden tickets in his CDs and whoever finds them gets to have a private concert with him. Cue teenies buying fifty copies each. As far as I know, no one has found a ticket yet. He has appeared on Ellen twice this month alone. He has also expressed a desire to go on Oprah, but he better get on soon, as she has just announced she’s finishing for good in 2011. But that’s another story.
Justin’s music isn’t totally terrible, his song ‘one less lonely girl’ is actually quite good. Most Aussie’s only know ‘one time’, his first single. It’s not that I outright hate him, it’s that his tweets are pure publicity, he looks like he’s ten, and his teenie’s call him JB and wear shirts that say ‘I LOVE JB’. JB will never be Justin Bieber. EVER.
Anyway, if Justin had been signed by Disney, he would be as hated in the mainstream world as JB are, but because, *le gasp* he was signed by Usher, and usher is cool, every JB hating teen (and some former fans) have fallen madly in love with him, and his (very) childish looks.
So far, there has been no word on him from any Aussie mags, but it will only be a matter of issues, I’m guessing.
Poor, poor Justin. In a few months, his voice will break, and he will go back to having nothing. Unless he pulls a Jmac and goes into hiding for a few years and comes back bigger and better than ever. But let’s not jinx ourselves now…
frangipani princess xoxo

5 thoughts on “The next big (little) thing…

  1. ^^^^ewwwww, to previous comment.Cannot believe his initials are J.B., didn't realise until I read this. First Jacob Black and now Justin Beiber, can this get any worse? I hope his voice breaks, well it will and he will suck and JB(!) will be epic as they can sing perfectly and their voices have all broken. Stupid Usher and Ellen. He must have paid them.

  2. Hahahahaha. Nick jonas's voice has not broken. its the most freakin annoying high pitched thing i've ever heard. and how could jb be epic?so many people hate them.because they're fake and crap singers and freakin DISNEY.justin beiber has hope.

  3. HAHA this is funny. 2day me and mates had a big music convo and he came up and someone played it and im just like …"He's seriously 15? it doesnt sound like his voice has even broken." haah then you posted this. it made me chukle ;D

  4. This girl form my cabin calls her mum JB. It was so random last night she was like 'yeah i can do pretty much whatever i want as long as i tell jb where i'm going.'Xoxo.. Toongen..

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