Dear twelve year old self,
Hi there, it’s fifteen year old you here, just wishing I could go back in time and talk to you. I have so much to say to you. So much that I wish you knew. It doesn’t exist yet, but there’s a song that will partly be the story of your life these next few years. It’s called fifteen, by taylor swift (by the way, don’t ever hate her. Even if she is a squinty eyed bitch, ignore that fact and skip straight to loving her) and even though you’re not fifteen for a few years, some lines stand out at me. The song has a lot to do with boys, but sadly, nothing has changed in that regard for us, so we’ll just skip over it. The second verse starts with “You sit in class next to a red head named abigail and soon enough you’re best friends. Laughing at the other girls who think they’re so cool we’ll be out of here as soon as we can”. You won’t sit next to a red head named abigail, you won’t even sit next to her, not in year seven at least, but remember that girl toongen that charlotte always told you to hate? Yeah, she’s going to be your best friend. You’re going to be the coolest kids around, and there will be haters, lots of them, but just laugh and remember that this town’s not going to be your home forever. Speaking of toong, look up a band right now called The Jonas Brothers. Don’t wait until late 2007, they’re epic now. The Joehawk is now. Get onto it.
Those girls you hated in primary school? They’re going to be some of your best friends. Don’t bother hating them now, they’re really not as bad as you think they are. Oh, and at the end of year seven, don’t get involved in that fight with them, it achieves nothing and just isn’t worth it.
You’re going to start this blog, and please, do me a favour and learn how to write before you begin posting. Stop using exclamation marks, what you’re saying really isn’t that interesting. And don’t comment other bloggers 24/7, looking back, you will be embarrassed.
Don’t forget to stay in contact with your old friends. It’s hard, and there’s going to be times where you just wish you could sever all ties, but trust me, the end result will be worth it. I’m still working on it, but you and Laura are going to be crazy old ladies together. It’s a friendship for the long run, don’t let it die out. Speaking of Laura, don’t listen when she tells you to read twilight, you will regret liking it. Save yourself a year of obsession and just hate before it’s cool to. But don’t ignore Taylor Lautner, start your obsession with him early.
Renew your faith in God now. You’re going to in year seven anyway, but it’s never to early to start loving the Lord. He really is awesome, and could help you right now. Love him, he loves you already.
Starting high school is going to be scary. Having mum and daddy there is going to be scary, but suck it up and those who still want to be friends after dad comes and yells at them to get to sleep at two am in his pajamas are worth it. The ones who are even game enough to come over are the ones who will last. Ignore the others. Ignore the blame they put on you. Ignore the hate. Honestly, they’re not worth the tears. You’re going to get yelled at for hating sport. You’re going to be laughed at for loving debating. You’re going to get called a nerd, a freak and a loser, just for not being who they want you to be, but don’t change. Looking back, you’ve already changed too much. Drop the act, and don’t even think about picking it back up. Don’t waste this time being someone you’re going to grow up to hate.
The last chorus of fifteen says “I’ve found time can heal ‘most anything and you just might find who you’re supposed to be. I didn’t know who I was supposed to be, at fifteen” and I can tell you now that by fifteen you will know, or at least have a fair idea. You will be going for your dreams and achieving some awesome milestones. You will have an epic best friend, and many other losers you love to death and couldn’t live without. I know right now you’re stressing. I know you’ve made some mistakes and you’re going to make some more (do me a favour and skip the fight with maddi on the last day of year six. Or at least do it somewhere not in front of half the staff and principal). I know that right now it seems like nothing could get worse, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so in the words of tswift “take a deep breath girl, take a deep breath as you walk through the doors” and stop worrying and just enjoy life. I can tell you now, it’s only going to get better.
I really wish you could read this and understand that it’s all going to be ok. I wish this would change everything, erase my mistakes. I wish that I could really go back and instill this wisdom into you, even though I still have a lot to learn. Looking back, you were really hurting, and I just wish I could join in the ‘omg i loved primary school’ conversations. If I could only tell you one thing, I would tell you to love God and try to smile. Smile, and before you know it, everything will begin to work out. I promise you.
Hey, we’re gonna be alright.
Me (future you)
frangipani princess xoxo