An open letter to my least favourite celestial body…

Dear Sun,
I hate you. That’s right, I absolutely, positively, despise you. You’re so selfish, just hanging up there, always being the centre of attention. Isn’t it enough that the Earth already revolves around you? Do you seriously have to add more insult to injury and not let the rain take centre stage? It was fine for the first few years, I understand that you’re obviously a bit lonely; no one can come near you without being burnt to a crisp, but I’m sorry, this is taking it too far. It’s been ten years. We get that you’re important. We realise that without you we would freeze to death, but what I don’t think you realise is that you’re killing all our grass/crops/gardens/trees/everything else. You’re causing the demise of a town. Actually, not just one town, hundreds of towns. Do you really want to be responsible for a residential massacre? Do you want to be known as a serial killer? Go down in history as “it that was responsible for ruining Australia’s farming and country life”?
Yeah. I didn’t think so.
Sun, even Hitler knew when enough was enough.
I’m not saying I want you to hide in a bunker and kill yourself. Oh gosh no. That would be worse than this stupid drought. What I do want you to do is humble yourself and let the rain shine for a while. Allow all eyes to focus on it. Think of it as a vacation. Surely you need a bit of a break? Just chill in the wings for a while and in a few years, ok, maybe another ten, you can come back and resume your place, front and centre stage.
And how about while you’re away, you think of nice ways you and the rain can co-operate when you come back. Maybe a roster? One season on, one season off? You don’t want to undo all the progress again, now do you?
Think of this as an intervention. You’ve been warned, sun. You’ve taken this whole “giving light and warmth to the world” thing too far. Chill for a while, and I hope to see you back in full force around 2019. And if there’s even a hint more drought before then, I’m braving being fried and coming to have a little talk with you (*insert ominous music*)…
frangipani princess (Who just wants to live in a Forkes-like climate for a while. Oh gosh. Did I really just compare my life to Twilight? Kill me now) xoxo

One thought on “An open letter to my least favourite celestial body…

  1. That's a mighty fine idea. Yesterday it was 37 degrees and I was in the sun all day- not by choice- and I literally almost melted. My sisters and I however found that things were a lot funnier in our state of heat exhaustion but we didn't have the energy to laugh. Rain would be awesome!

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